Autism and Vacations

This is a blog that I have been meaning to write for awhile. Just over a month ago, we returned from a 3 week trip to Utah. It was a sudden and unexpected trip. I was not sure how it would work since it involved a 16 hour car ride. Over all it ended up being a pretty smooth trip despite the stress we were under. Here's what we did:

The Car Ride

• Lots and lots of Lizzybug's favorite snacks.
• Bring comfort items (Liz has to have her "magic blanket")
• DVD Player, Tablet, etc.
• Be prepared for lots of potty breaks (I convinced Liz to wear a pull up and it was a good thing).

The Hotel

• Try to keep the bedtime routine as normal as possible.
• Bring a night light.
• Before bedtime, discuss the schedule for the following day.
• Talk to the hotel and see about the possibility of being on the ground floor and/or being away from others (we have a nosiy household and I wanted to prevent the kids from disrupting others).
• A room with a fridge and a microwave was a neccessity for us as Liz always has to have something to eat before bedtime.
• Liz has to know the time so we also made sure that she always had a view of the alarm clock.
• Unplug the phone; it makes the perfect toy!

The Day to Day

• Make sure that you pack plenty of breaks into a busy day. 
• Explain the day to them, and answer any questions or concerns that they may have. 
• Plan ahead. i,e, If you need to stop for lunch, know the location of autism friendly places to eat. 
• Take lots of pictures, and remember to not get discouraged. Make the moments count.

Life is Fleeting

Tonight,  I feel the need to venture away from my normal ramblings.  It's nearing 1 AM , and I'm wide awake listening to my husband snore.  This isn't necessarily an unusual occurrence.  Years of being an EMT wife have turned me into an insomniac. Tonight I have so many thoughts and feelings running through my mind.

This is our sixth Christmas as parents.  We now have 3 kids. I remember Liz's first Christmas.  She was 10 months, and Colby and I sat eagerly under the tree as we assisted her in opening her gifts.  We were so excited to share that with her. This year we will do the same with Brody.  It's hard to believe we have had 6 beautiful Christmases with children.  As Brody is likely our last baby,  I'm trying to make an effort to just pause and enjoy the beauty of the moments. 

Sometimes pausing means waking him up at 3 AM to smother him in kisses. It means midnight checks on the girls, and stopping whatever task I'm busy with to read them a book. When all is said and done my children won't remember the clean immaculate house, they will remember that mom read to them, laughed with them, and dreamed with them.

Life is fleeting. We blink and it's 6 years later. I want to live every beautiful precious moment. I want to smell the newness of Brody's head and cuddle with my 2 precious girls. I want them to say that their mom lived and loved. That she made a difference somewhere,  somehow.  I want them to tell people that their mom helped them dream. This life is short. Every second we breath is a miracle.  Every sunset and sunrise is a blessing.  We need to cherish those we hold dear and remember to pause and enjoy every single moment. So this Christmas hold your little ones near, take their pictures, smell their heads, and tell them that you love them. 

He Prepared Me

I have spoken before about how Heavenly Father prepared me at an early age to be an ASD mom and advocate. As a teenager, I spent hours researching autism and the benefits of dance therapy. I was like a sponge. Before Liz was even diagnosed, I enrolled her in a dance class. I knew in the pit of my stomach that she had autism, and suddenly all the research that I had once absorbed came back to me. I often wonder how different this journey would have been if I had not been prepared early.

I think of The Bible, and the way that many of the prophets were preapared for things that happened to them. We all know the story of Noah, and how he prepared by building an ark. I have found that every time a new curve ball comes my way I am prepared. It happens in ways that  I would never expect. As a teenager, I never would have dreamed that I would have a child on the spectrum. Yet, that love for those on the spectrum was placed in my heart. As I have started to advocate, I look back on seemingly unrelated experiences and realize that I was being prepared. For example, my husband was hospitalized for a time. As he sat unconscious and barely clinging to life I advocated for him. I never would have imagined what that would lead to.

When we recieved this diagnosis I was angry with God. I could not figure out why he would put this on my shoulders. All I could focus on was the present and my own feelings. As I gradually stepped back and looked at the larger picture I realized how miraclous it all is. Everything fits. I can truly see Heavenly father's hand in every small detail. When I feel like I just can not do it anymore I try to take a deep breath, have faith, and remember that he is preparing me for something larger than I can comprehend. His work is beautiful. He has a hand in our lives, and he knows each of us. He knows our pain. He knows our struggles. He knows our worth. All he requires of us is to put our faith in him. If we can do that we can find peace and hope no matter how dark life seems. I know that with all of my heart.

To those that are struggling, please be strong and have faith. You are being prepared for miracles. It may seem hard, and you may feel like giving up, but push on a little further.

Patterns

Last year Liz began to recognize patterns on paper. I was so proud the day she came home, pointed at figures on a sheet of paper and then told me that it was a pattern.  This year,  Liz has started to comprehend patterns in her daily life. The good thing about this is that she able to verbalize that she likes patterns.  The bad part is that she demands these patterns. Our life has turned into a series patterns. For example,  she enjoys her school lunches to move in a pattern (one day she brings lunch, the next day she ears school lunch, then she brings lunch, and etc.). If anything changes she lets us know that she is "so angry" because we aren't "making a pattern. " Don't even try to tell her you are making a new pattern.  The outcome is not a good one! So here we are the always unpredictable Van Wagoners living a life of patterns. 

An Update

It's been awhile since I have blogged. We had to leave to Utah for 3 weeks due to a family emergency. It's crazy what 3 weeks away from home can do to an ASD child. Transitioning back to "normal" has been difficult for Liz. She hasn't wanted to go to school. She wants to stay home with us.
We also have a bully at school, and she is making life difficult for Liz. It seems that Liz isn't the only kid she is picking on. We have been working with Liz on not letting this girl's opion knock her down. We want her to know that her opinion of herself is the only one that matters. The most difficult thing has been trying to get her to report the problem to the teacher. It's a hard concept for her to understand. Thankfully, her teacher has taken this issue very seriously.
Liz is doing much better with her sight words, We know way more than we did just a few weeks ago. We have been slowly working on one sight word at a time, and then reciting the ones that we already know. Reading seems to be a weak spot for Liz. I think she prefers math.
Overall, Liz is beginning to readjust to our life. She is eagerly awaiting Christmas and Christmas break.