He Prepared Me

I have spoken before about how Heavenly Father prepared me at an early age to be an ASD mom and advocate. As a teenager, I spent hours researching autism and the benefits of dance therapy. I was like a sponge. Before Liz was even diagnosed, I enrolled her in a dance class. I knew in the pit of my stomach that she had autism, and suddenly all the research that I had once absorbed came back to me. I often wonder how different this journey would have been if I had not been prepared early.

I think of The Bible, and the way that many of the prophets were preapared for things that happened to them. We all know the story of Noah, and how he prepared by building an ark. I have found that every time a new curve ball comes my way I am prepared. It happens in ways that  I would never expect. As a teenager, I never would have dreamed that I would have a child on the spectrum. Yet, that love for those on the spectrum was placed in my heart. As I have started to advocate, I look back on seemingly unrelated experiences and realize that I was being prepared. For example, my husband was hospitalized for a time. As he sat unconscious and barely clinging to life I advocated for him. I never would have imagined what that would lead to.

When we recieved this diagnosis I was angry with God. I could not figure out why he would put this on my shoulders. All I could focus on was the present and my own feelings. As I gradually stepped back and looked at the larger picture I realized how miraclous it all is. Everything fits. I can truly see Heavenly father's hand in every small detail. When I feel like I just can not do it anymore I try to take a deep breath, have faith, and remember that he is preparing me for something larger than I can comprehend. His work is beautiful. He has a hand in our lives, and he knows each of us. He knows our pain. He knows our struggles. He knows our worth. All he requires of us is to put our faith in him. If we can do that we can find peace and hope no matter how dark life seems. I know that with all of my heart.

To those that are struggling, please be strong and have faith. You are being prepared for miracles. It may seem hard, and you may feel like giving up, but push on a little further.