About 18 months ago, I attended an autism conference. It was a month after Liz had been diagnosed. I was still very lost and confused. As I walked the hallways, I happened upon an ASD child having a meltdown. One thing that completely struck me was the patience his mother had as she helped him calm the storm. She sat down and held him. She gently rocked back and forth and whispered in his ear. In that moment, I witnessed true, undying love. That moment has stayed with me. As I stood there, an intruder in their world, I saw something beautiful. Just like tonight's snow, it was a moment that was far to beautiful for any camera to capture.
I often find myself wondering why this moment has stayed with me. I'm really not sure. Maybe because it helped me to see that even in the worst storms there is always beauty to be found if we just take the time to see it. Sometimes it takes stepping away and making ourselves the intruders in our own world. When we step back and see the entire picture we may see something that we never expected to see. I'm sure that mom didn't think the moment was beautiful. It was probably something that she does every single day. I'm sure she was stressed and tired, and maybe she was wishing she was in the conference with all the other adults. Yet, there she was.
The reality is that this mother may never know just what a profound impression she left with me. Out of all the speakers I heard, nothing surpassed that one precious moment I witnessed. Being a parent to Lizzybug is one of the hardest most unexpected journeys I have ever been on. I often feel like I am failing or not trying hard enough. I often question my judgement or my parenting, Parenting an ASD kiddo is not an easy thing at all, but for me it has been rewarding. Every accomplishment, every smile, every battle won is worth it. When I step back and see the uncaptured moments I know that like the falling snow it is beautiful.
My poor attempt at capturing the snow:
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