Our One Year Mark

Friday marked the day our lives forever changed. I spent the weekend thinking about how far our family has come, how far Liz has come, but most of all how far I have come. A year ago, I was breaking down into tears randomly, I was angry with God, and I wanted our pre diagnosis life back. I was really struggling with accepting that a diagnosis did not change my child. I was on my way to learning that a diagnosis had simply opened up an entire new world for my child and our family.
The last year, has been full of trials and difficulty, but it has also been the best year of my life. I have met such amazing people, I have been able to reach out and help others, to learn who my daughter truly is, and to learn a thing or two about myself. This is not the easiest way to travel through life, but it is worth it. It is worth every smile and every tear. It is simply worth it!
Over the past year, I ahve had the oppurtunity to learn so much about my Lizzybug. I will never forget our first OT appointment with Liz. It was so amazing to finally see what she was capable of. I felt like that first OT appointment opened Liz up to so many things. And while she was opening up, I was,too. I was able to slowly let go of my feelings of resentment, and to slowly embrace her diagnosis. It was like I was truly seeing my child for the first time.
I feel honored and blessed to be a mother to this child. I don't know how I got lucky enough to lead this sweet spirit through this world. She has taught me more in the past 5 years than I have learned my entire life. I love my bug!

To the Mother of the Daughter with the matted hair

I once worked at your daughter's school. I judged you as I watched the special ed team bending your ASD child over the teachers' lounge sink. I watched as they combed, brushed, cut, washed, and conditioned your child's hair. I wondered how a person could send their child to school in that state. I thought horrible things. What kind of parent were you?

Now here I am, just over 5 years later. I just spent the last half hour combing, brushing, conditioning, and washing my own ASD child's hair. The entire time all I could think about was the time I spent judging you. Never once did it cross my mind that a brush might be physically painful to your child. Never once did I stop to think that maybe, just maybe, you were more concerned about your child eating breakfast in the morning. Or maybe you spent the morning finding an outfit that didn't hurt her. I have no idea the circumstances, and I should have never judged.

I wish I could turn back time. I wish I could call you up, and tell you what a great mom you are. I wish I could have seen past the matted hair and seen the good that you were doing. Instead, I pegged you as a horrible neglectful parent. For that I am sorry. In reality, I am sure you were doing the best you could. Isn't that what we all do? We survive day by day, prioritizing the needs of our children. I am sorry.

Over the past year, I have learned to be slow to judge. We never truly know all the circumstances surrounding a situation. If we would only take the time to pause and show sympathy instead. So when I start to judge others I will remember you, Mother of the child with the matted hair. I will remember that I did you wrong, and I will do my best to not judge, to think twice, to show sympathy. Thank you for the lesson.