Not mad at my daughter, but mad with the situation, with society, mad with insurance companies,doctors, acquaintances who just don't get it, and my list could go on and on. Some days I just want to scream and cry because it feels like no one cares or understands. I am learning to take a deep breath and excuse people for their ignorance.
For example, a few weeks ago we took Liz to the GI. I could tell that she didn't have a lot of experience with autism. The first thing she said was, "Are you sure it is really stomach aches and she's not just complaining about something else?" To be fair, she probably did have a point, but I know something more is going on and that was not the question I wanted to hear. It felt like she was not taking us seriously. I left mad.
Other times I get stuck in the "Why us" phase. I may never fully know the answer to that question, but what I can do now is find the blessings in it. I have an amazing daughter who excels in things most kids don't. I never need to turn on the news for a weather report, sending Liz to the window is more than sufficient. She can dance, she can act, she can make me laugh. That is the beauty of autism in our home.
I want to educate people. I want to advocate for these children and adults so that other parents don't have to get mad. I want them to be able to reach out, make one phone call, and suddenly have all the help and resources that they need. I want parents to have sufficient support. I want them to see where their child excels, to see that their child has great potential. Most of all I want to help their children find that potential. I am starting to find a new calling in my life.
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